Disappointment

I think I knew about 25 days ago that I wasn't pregnant. My gut tells me that the bleeding I had at the beginning of the month wasn't implantation bleeding or even a period. It was a miscarriage of a barely pregnant body. My heart hurts in strange ways. I just want my period to start so that I can begin monitoring my cycle again. I want to clean my house and bake bread and make everything feel all right. I want Trey to come home from work and not be sad. I want to be able to know that a year from now we will take our little one trick or treating. I don't know that I have ever wanted anything as much as I want us to have a baby. Why can't I cry about this?

A Bad Thursday

Just when I thought the stress of this week was lessening, or at least dealt with, along comes today! I understand that Trey and I working together is not the most optimal situation. But in these economic times, people do what they have to do. She doesn't report to me. No one reports to me! I am a trainer. Not a manager or a supervisor or anything. I have never had anything to do with her evaluations or anything else. Thank heavens for Suzi having my back. She was so thoroughly angry at the entire situation. Just because other people have made stupid, moronic decisions, doesn't mean I will. It smacks of discrimination! The state of Washington doesn't recognize our relationship. As far as the government is concerned, we are roommates. And until we have the ability to get married like a heterosexual couple, then no one can say anything. Does this company really want a lawsuit? They are trying to emerge from Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. I will happily put them in more debt. And the person who did this..and decided that an ethicspoint was the way to go...payback is a bitch..and so is she...I can make life pretty damn miserable for her...I am so angry I want to drink...and I don't drink. This hurts...I wish I had a punching bag.